Dads can protect against toxic stress

More dads are challenging old ideas of fatherhood with new ways of giving support and creating emotional connection. By sharing more love, attention, and affection with kids at an early age, dads are helping to prevent toxic stress and giving their children a stronger start.

Happy dad holding his son

Dads talk about fatherhood

“Fatherhood isn’t just about the traditional physical protection but also emotional protection.”

–Diego, a San Bernardino dad

“I'm never going to stop showing love, going to give those extra hugs and kisses. And I don't care who is watching.”

–Matthew, a San Diego dad

“Being a parent is an opportunity for me to grow along with them too.”

–Lucas, a Bay Area dad

*Names changed for privacy
dad holding his daughter

Keep it going

Doing things differently can be hard, but it’s worth it. A new kind of parenting takes a new kind of strength.

Dad holding his son

Being emotionally open with your kids helps them to be happier and more successful—so keep exercising your dad strength.

5 ways you can flex your emotional muscles to be present for your child

Validate their feelings

Talking openly about feelings helps kids accept their emotions and work through them instead of acting out.

Listen to them

Feeling heard gives kids a sense of trust. It can lead to improved social skills too.

Show love through play

Playing together is like speaking your child’s language, which brings you closer together.

Give more affection

Showing kids affection helps them grow up to be more confident and better equipped to handle conflict.

Make the most of time together

Spending more time together leads children to be happier and more successful in school.

You don’t have to figure out fatherhood alone

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No matter how prepared you are to be a dad, it’s always helpful to have a little extra support. Every county in California has a local First 5 Commission where you can meet other dads, pick up tips, or even get advice on co-parenting.

Find Your Local First 5
Type your county name or zip code

Wherever you live in California, a First 5 County Commission is there to help you. These 58 county commissions can connect you with resources in your community that meet the needs of your family.

Sources
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1. American Academy of Pediatrics (2024, April 24). Tips to support healthy mental & emotional development in your child. HealthyChildren.org.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/healthy-mental-and-emotional-development-in-children-key-building-blocks.aspx
2. American Psychological Association (2009). The changing role of the modern day father. Publications & Rescources.
https://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/changing-father
3. First 5 California. (n.d.). Find your local First 5. Your Choices Shape Their Future.
https://www.first5california.com/en-us/about/?id=22&sub=90#local
4. Hall, T. (2021). 5 Important ways fathers impact child development. Child Care Resources.
https://ccrnj.org/5-important-ways-fathers-impact-child-development/#:~:text=Boost%20Confidence
6. Positive Parenting Project (n.d.). The importance of listening to children. Thinking Parenting Blog.
https://anitacleare.co.uk/importance-of-listening-to-children/
7. Sandi Schwartz (2020, January 23). How a parent’s affection shapes a child’s happiness. The Society for Personality and Social Psychology.
https://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/how-parents-affection-shapes-childs-happiness
8. Yogman, M., Garfield, C.F., Committee on Psychological Aspects of Child and Family Health, Bauer, N.S., Gambon, T.B., Lavin, A., Lemmon, K.M., Mattson, G., Rafferty, J.R., Wissow, L.S. (2016). Fathers' roles in the care and development of their children: The role of pediatricians. American Academy of Pediatrics. 138(1), e20161128.
https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-1128