Your baby is crying again. You’ve fed them, changed them, and checked for every discomfort you can think of. Still, the tears keep coming. In this moment, you might feel frustrated, worried, or helpless—we get it.
Before your baby learns to speak their first words, crying is their primary way of telling you what they need. Every cry is a message, and while it might not always be clear at first, you can learn to understand what your little one is trying to say.
Think of crying as your baby’s communication system. Just like you use words to express hunger, discomfort, or the need for connection, your baby uses cries and sounds to tell you the same things. When you listen to your baby’s sounds and do your best to meet their needs, you're building the foundation for them to trust you and connect with others.
This back-and-forth communication process is called secure attachment. Your baby learns to communicate their feelings to you, and eventually to trust others as well. Babies who have their needs met consistently tend to become more independent as they grow.
While every baby is unique, most infant cries fall into a few main categories. Learning to recognize these different cries can help you respond more quickly and effectively to what your baby needs.
At first, a hungry baby’s cries are long, low-pitched, and repetitive, with long pauses in between. As your baby gets hungrier, the cries will gradually build up, getting longer and louder with shorter pauses.
Before your baby starts crying from hunger, you might notice other signs. If your baby is under 5 months old, watch for them to clench their fists, smack their lips, turn their head toward anything that touches their face and open their mouth, or put their hands in their mouth.
When this happens, offer your baby the breast or bottle, and let them eat until they’re full. Try to respond to early hunger cues before the crying starts, since crying is often a late sign of hunger. Once your baby is crying hard, getting them to settle down and eat can be more difficult. Crying can also cause babies to swallow air, creating more discomfort and more crying.
Babies who are fussy cry in a complaining tone that starts and stops. You might hear a few fussy sounds, then quiet, then more fussing. The cry isn’t as urgent or intense as a hunger cry. It’s more like your baby is saying “something’s not quite right” rather than “I need help now!” Like other types of cries, it will get stronger and harder to ignore the longer it goes on.
If you hear this, your baby might be tired or uncomfortable. This type of fussiness is especially common during the late afternoon or early evening. Maybe if your baby’s ready for a nap. Newborns often need about 16 to 18 hours of sleep a day in the first few months. Babies who are overtired can sometimes act hyperalert and move a lot. This is often their way of showing they have passed their ideal window for sleep and are struggling to settle down.
If it’s not naptime, maybe their diaper isn’t dry or they’re too hot or too cold. You could also try changing their environment, like holding your baby close while you walk around, going for a stroll outside, or trying a bouncer or swing.
A baby in pain may suddenly shriek a single, long, high-pitched cry. This may repeat as they continue to feel waves of pain. Pain-related crying may be linked to something specific, like an ear infection, uncomfortable gas bubbles, being accidentally pinched by a zipper or snap, having a hair wrapped tightly around a finger or toe (called a hair tourniquet), teething pain, or being stuck by a diaper pin or tag. Sometimes the cause is obvious, like after getting a vaccination shot. Other times, you may need to do some detective work to figure out what’s hurting.
Check your baby’s fingers and toes for anything wrapped around them. Look for tags or tight clothing. Feel their gums if they’re teething age. If you can identify and fix the problem (like removing a tight hair or uncomfortable clothing), your baby should calm down fairly quickly. If you can’t find the source of the pain or the crying doesn’t stop after you’ve tried to help, contact your pediatrician. Trust your gut—it’s okay to call if you are worried.
A sick cry won’t sound like hunger or fussy cries. Your baby may sound tired and weak, with a lower-pitched, moaning quality. The cry might be more continuous than usual, without the typical pauses you hear in other types of crying. Sometimes sick babies cry less than usual because they don’t have the energy.
Any crying that’s ongoing and unusual—combined with changes in your baby’s normal behavior—could mean illness. A sick baby might also be less interested in eating, might sleep more or less than usual, or might just seem “off” in ways you can’t quite pinpoint.
If your baby’s cries just don’t seem right, contact their primary care physician. Warning signs that need immediate medical attention include refusing to eat for multiple feedings, being very sleepy or hard to wake (lethargy), a rash, a fever over 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit in newborns, difficulty breathing, or inconsolable crying that lasts for hours. Your pediatrician is there to help you figure out what’s going on and give you peace of mind.
This is intense, piercing crying that can last for hours at a time and seems impossible to soothe. The cry is often loud and high-pitched, and your baby may seem inconsolable no matter what you try. It’s more intense, more desperate, and more distressing to hear. Your baby might also pull their legs up to their chest, clench their fists, arch their back, or have a tense, red face during these crying episodes.
Unsoothable crying is when an otherwise healthy baby cries for more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for at least three weeks. It usually starts around 2–3 weeks of age and typically happens at predictable times, most often in the late afternoon or evening. However, it usually gets better by 3–4 months of age. While doctors aren’t 100% sure why some babies cry this way, many believe it’s because a newborn’s nervous system is still getting used to the world outside the womb.
For babies with unsoothable crying, try techniques like gentle rocking, skin-to-skin contact, a warm bath, or a soft white noise machine. It is completely normal for a trick that worked one day to not work the next. Their needs are constantly changing, and that’s okay. You can also reach out to your pediatrician for support and to rule out any other causes of the crying.
Even though general types of cries can be understood, your baby is an individual. Each baby has a unique personality and nervous system. What soothes one baby might not work for another. Watch, listen, and learn what your baby is communicating and learn how best to respond. All these signs tell you something specific about your baby’s emotional and physical state.
As you spend more time with your baby, you’ll start to notice that crying is just one part of how they “talk” to you. They also communicate through their eyes, their movements, and the ways they react to the sound of your voice.
By paying close attention to these small patterns, you can better understand what your baby is feeling and how they are growing. Check out this video to see how watching and listening to your baby helps you spot their earliest milestone moments and builds a deeper connection between you both.
You don’t need to understand your baby’s cues every single time to build a strong bond. As long as you keep trying to figure out what your baby needs, the secure attachment process stays on track. Here are different ways you can respond to your baby to help build that trust while you work to figure out their cues:
Respond with a calm presence. Your baby picks up on your emotional state. Babies communicate most effectively when they are calm and alert, and so do you. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious, try to calm yourself before responding to your baby. Take a deep breath. This might mean letting your baby cry for a minute longer while you collect yourself.
Try different soothing strategies. Every baby is different, so experiment to find what works for yours. Some babies calm with motion, like walking, rocking, or bouncing. Some prefer quiet and stillness, like white noise, gentle shushing, or soft music. Others like to be held close, and others need a little space.
Use your voice and touch. Talk quietly to your crying baby. Let them know you’re there and you care. Your tone of voice, gestures, and loving touch are all important ways of communicating. Even if they’re still crying, your calm presence helps.
It’s okay to take a break. There are times when even the most caring parent can’t soothe a baby’s cries. This is especially true in the first three months, when all babies go through a period when they cry more than at any other time. If you're feeling overwhelmed and nothing helps, it’s okay to put your baby down safely in their crib and walk away for a few minutes to calm yourself. Your baby will be okay, and you’ll be better able to help them once you’ve had a moment to reset.
It’s normal to feel unsure at first. All those sounds and cries may seem the same when your baby is a newborn. But as time goes on, it will become easier to understand the cries, interpret the signals, and respond to your baby’s needs. Be patient with yourself and your baby as you learn about each other. To help build your confidence when responding to your baby’s cries:
Trust your instincts. You know your baby better than anyone else. If something doesn’t seem right, trust your instinct and take the next step, whether that’s calling the doctor or asking a loved one for help.
Take care of yourself. To be responsive to your baby, you need to take care of your own needs too. Try to get enough sleep when you can. Ask for support around the home. Schedule some time away, even if it’s just for a short time. Caring for a baby is demanding, and taking breaks helps you parent more effectively.
Remember it’s a process. Creating secure attachment with your baby doesn’t happen overnight. It’s an ongoing journey together. You’ll have moments when you can’t quite tell what your baby’s cries mean, and that’s okay. What matters is that you keep trying and keep responding. To learn more about what to look for in these early days, watch this video on a child’s earliest moments.
Focus on connection, not perfection. The quality of your response matters more than getting it right every time. Even when you don’t immediately understand what your baby needs, your effort to figure it out and meet their needs shows your baby they’re loved and safe.
Every time you respond to your baby’s cries with love and patience, you’re teaching your baby that the world is a safe place, that their needs matter, and that they can count on you. So, the next time your baby cries and you feel that moment of uncertainty, remember: You don’t need to have all the answers right away. Showing up, listening, and doing your best to respond with love is more than enough.
