Imagine dropping your child off at school or your co-parent’s house—does your child bounce excitedly in your arms and rush in like a race car? Or do they cling tightly to you with tears in their eyes? Many parents know the second situation all too well. However, those moments are part of a child's development, and with a bit of preparation, you can help make them easier. Here are some tips to make those "see you later" moments smoother.
First, get yourselves in the right mindset. Before you head out, whether it's to school, a co-parent's house, or another caregiver's location, talk to your child about what they can expect. You might say, "You'll have fun playing with your toys, and I'll be back after snack time." Encourage them to take part in activities they enjoy. Whether it's playing with toys or coloring, keeping them busy can make the transition easier.
Communication with caregivers, teachers, or co-parents is important too. Talk to them about any concerns you or your child may have beforehand and work together to create a supportive environment that works best for your child. Knowing that everyone understands their needs can help you and your little one feel more at ease.
You can also try turning that frowny farewell into a fun “see you later” ritual to make the moment special. Get creative with it, like a super-secret handshake or a special phrase. Keeping the goodbye short and sweet can also help reduce anxiety. As much as we’d love to cuddle them and carry on the moment, staying too long can make it harder for both of you.
Another thing you can do is start with short times apart and then gradually increase the length of time. This helps your child get used to being away from you in a manageable way. You can even start by leaving them with a trusted family member or friend for a short period of time. Use terms they understand, like "I’ll be back after snack time" or "... before dinner," to make the concept of time clearer. When you come back, make sure to follow the same routine each time. You can even carry over your “goodbye” ritual into a “welcome back” one! Whatever option you choose, keeping it consistent reassures your child that everything is okay.
And always aim to keep your promise about your return time. This can help build trust and help your child feel more secure. However, we know that life can be unpredictable. If you find yourself running late or if your schedule isn't always predictable, it's important to have a backup plan. Communicate with your co-parent or caregiver to let your child know about any changes. You can also let your child know about the fun activities they'll be doing while you're away, rather than giving them an exact return time. This way, your child can stay engaged and excited about their time apart from you, knowing that you'll be back soon to hear all about their adventures.
If the goodbyes are happening on a regular schedule in an unfamiliar location, like a new daycare or school, visit the location together before it becomes a part of your routine. Getting familiar with the new environment can help your child feel more comfortable and less worried when it's time for you to leave. Talk about the fun activities and new friends they will meet to help shift their focus from the separation to the exciting experiences ahead.
It's perfectly normal to have mixed feelings about these moments of separation. Talking through your emotions can be a valuable way to model healthy emotional expression for your child. By trying these strategies, we hope it helps your child handle the challenges of separation with more confidence and ease. Remember, it's a learning process for both of you, and with time, saying "see you later" will become easier. Embrace these moments as opportunities to build trust, knowing that each goodbye is a step toward independence and growth.
